Outback Jack's Journey

Two random stories of showering in a beach public toilet/shower block - one from the 80s, one from a few years ago. I've shared in an earlier post that a pedophile sexually abused me when I was 7 and 8. Perhaps when I was 10 I was showering in a beach toilet block with my Mum waiting outside. My Dad didn't come on Summer holidays. I was in my cubicle showering and jerking off. In the next cubicle was a tall man showering. He was tall enough he could look over the wall and saw me with my boner in my hand. A minute later he was at my cubicle door and had unlocked it from the outside and was opening the door inwards. I realised what was happening and what would happen if I let him come in, so I pushed the door hard closed and re-locked the door! I quickly finished showering and drying and ran out to my Mum crying. The man was nowhere to be seen once I got outside. Story 2 Maybe 3-4 years ago I had swum at a beach in Queensland and walked off the beach to the public toilets and sho...

Here’s my answer the question, Why we’re separating, and why we’re not continuing to pursue reconciliation: I have unintentionally done some things that hurt your Mum and led her to not trust me. Why I did those things is not because I don’t love your Mum. I do love her and you. I still have a lot of trauma in my life that isn’t healed, but which I’m continuing to seek to heal. Trauma is complex; it has made me do things I don’t want to do, I don’t really understand why I’ve done them, and I don’t have all the answers, but I do have to take responsibility for them. Mum can’t go any further with me and I need to respect that. We both feel very sad about this. I will always love her, I will always be your Dad, and I will always love you.