Outback Jack's Journey

My workout buddy has accused me of being an exhibitionist. I had said to him a few times that my counsellor had suggested that because I used to hide from my alcoholic and verbally abusive Dad in my bedroom and did my schoolwork, that I should consider trying to feel seen. I had asked my counsellor whether it is a real need or a perceived need. Do I just need to be emotionally vulnerable and exposed by sharing my story, or do I need to physically be vulnerable and expose myself? He said both. Why I am not an exhibitionist? My desire is not to feel seen. I'm not addicted to it. Yes I've exhibited my body in the past and received attention, which I enjoyed as a shadow of the love and connection that I was desiring and missed out of getting from my Dad. When I was on Instagram, I felt the pressure to post from seeing others' posts and the affirmation they received. But I could feel the "thirst trap" that it was, and got off. What's the reason I get naked with oth...

I had a massage today with a man from MassageExchange.com It was totally good. 0% sexual energy. The guy was tall and deaf, so we had to communicate by writing on an iPhone. I went first and was naked under a towel. I didn't notice until the end, but he just had a towel around his waist. He gave me the best massage I've ever had! On my front, he folded my arm up behind my back and massaged my triceps. I don't recall ever having had them massaged before! When doing my legs (on my front), he folded my leg up so my foot was against my other knee, and then he massaged my inner thigh. I didn't think it was sore until he rubbed it. He was very respectful about my penis. It flopped out from under the towel once, and he tucked it back in by using the towel. By far at least twice as good as I've ever had! He massaged everything including my chest and abs! He rubbed each of my 6-pack muscles, which I hadn't realised were sore.  I massaged him also in towel. It was a reall...