Outback Jack's Journey

I have my Brothers Road Zoom coaching group just now. (I really would recommend it) They asked what I'd like to work on. I said I'd like to talk to the part of me that wants to meet men on Instagram and flirt with them to feel seen. The leader got me to connect with that part of me, which is usually late at night and when someone has ignored me or rejected me. He asked what is an earlier time I've felt like this, and it was growing up. My Dad had a desk where he'd study facing away from us at the far end of the lounge room, which we could see from the kitchen and family room. I must have looked at the back of his head thousands of times wanting connection, but if I did disturb him, I'd get shouted at and told not to disturb him. I presumed there was something wrong with me for wanting connection with him. The leader got me to imagine entering that scene as my adult self, approaching little me together with Jesus. We kneel down and hug him, and tell him that there...

Today I received a link to a short 11-min video on  Imagining your Ideal Parents . I had to stop it after 6-min. But in those 6-min, the man in the video got me to imagine three scenes: A scene where my father delighted in spending time with me. He wrestled me. He made an effort to learn cricket, and he'd spent tireless afternoons in the backyard helping me learn how to hit a cricket ball with a cricket bat. Another scene where my parents were attuned to me that they listened to me recount a tragic day where I was bullied and punched at school. The listened, didn't give advice, were attuned to my pain, and reassured me that they loved me. Another scene where my family are doing a bush walk. In reality my father would walk fast and far ahead. I couldn't catch up, despite running. In the new imagined scene, my father is attuned to my tiredness and exhaustion, and he cares deeply. He doesn't blame me for being weak and not keeping up, he apologises for going on such a lon...

Sarah, Sam, Liz, & I had a family meeting after dinner tonight and told the girls tonight that we wouldn’t be doing any more reconciliation. (Just prior Liz was joking that we’d have a re-commitment ceremony where Sam could be the bridesmaid and Liz would be my best man.) The girls banded together and made a list of questions. Starting with “Why?” Sarah answered but Liz was only half listening and Sam was distracted. But after she answered I respectfully said, “I don’t agree with that”, so we didn’t repeat it when they asked. We had discussed this possibility beforehand.  The girls wanted to ask us questions independently, but we said we wouldn’t because we didn’t want to triangulate them even inadvertently, so we would answer questions together. They asked if we were getting divorced. We said no.  They had a few other questions and finished with, “How long until we can rib you with Bible verses about how God hates divorce?” (They had already been ribbing us.) We then real...