Being present with Eye contact
Strategy for being present . I've known that when I feel "off", dsyregulated or feel the draw towards porn, what I really need is connection. However, often I can't get face-to-face connection. So here's the levels of connection that I attempt to have at that point: Connection by text. Connection by seeing another man's eyes and feeling seen by another by him by exchanging face pics. Connection by live video call where we can see each other's eyes and facial expressions live. Connection face-to-face, in person, where there can be a hug or other physical connection. I have this strategy with other men, but I realised I can have that strategy with my wife too. Yes it's a little difficult being separated, but when we meet, I can make a point of not beginning to talk unless we have eye contact. If I'm being really present with her, by connecting with her eyes, then I don't transfer or put shame onto her. I had a session with the counsellor on Wedn...