Outback Jack's Journey

We started counselling sharing that we'd had some good times as a family. Sarah raised that we had met on Sunday to discuss out meeting for the financial planner later that day, but our time was shorter than expected as our daughter's shift at Maccas was 30-min earlier. At the end of our meeting, I started to tell Sarah that I'd been accepted into a program in the USA, but got cut off by our other daughter. By the time I was in the car, I realised that I hadn't brought it up, so while driving to pick our daughter, I phoned Sarah to tell her. She said, "Congratulations". I asked if she had any thoughts, and she merely said, "Lots, but I won't share them now." So basically, I have a protective strategy of avoiding conversations and situations that would cause conflict. Our counsellor calls it the "Avoidant Protector." She acknowledged that the Avoidant Protector has been very helpful in my past. She got me to change chairs and to briefly ...

Realising the difference between:  Perceived Threat (past or future) Actual Threat (present) Perceived Threats can include: Feeling used Feeling I will disappoint someone. If someone is disappointed, I have expected that I will get hurt. Strategy: People pleasing, so they're not disappointed Fight/Flight/Freeze and Fear may be justified. Survival is on the line. No rational choice. Regulate - with breathing and exercise Reaction Actions chosen based on: Values, Integrity, Happiness, Beliefs, Boundaries Reactions based on: Survival, not rational choice.