Gym shower hug

Today I worked out with Doug and got naked in the sauna and locker room with him again. He gives me hugs when we met at the gym, and a side hug in the sauna. I love it; he's so affirming and I receive it. I'd just stepped out of the shower for the last time and was wiping my naked body down. Doug stepped out of his shower naked, saw me stepping out too, and just came and gave me a hug. It was genuine, tender, and caring. It was just what I needed and I just sank into it. But then I started shaking in fear. Then I cried. He didn't care that another man came in to shower room and we were there naked and hugging! I could feel his whole body against mine (including his limp penis against my leg). It was not sexual at all. I just felt seen, accepted and loved! I could feel REALLY accepted as he was holding my entire body. It was a loving platonic embrace, like a father would give to his sad hurting son. I cried because I longed for that type of hug and unrestrained love from my father, but never got it. It is that full acceptance that I longed for, and here I was receiving it! I cried into his neck and shoulder (like in the pic). I felt the love and acceptance of my "perfect father" and forgot it was Doug for a bit until I leaned back and realised it wasn't a dream, but a real man showing me real, tangible love, and in a way I felt I needed!

I felt fully seen (absolutely no hiding) and accepted.

(Backstory: At high school, I'd wear my sports shorts under my school trousers to completely remove the risk of being seen naked and where there might be the possibility I'd get a boner. The fear of bullying and rejection was SO high, because it had happened so many times before. So I hid myself.)

We stopped hugging and sat down on the bench in front of our lockers. By this stage I was feeling very connected and my penis was hard sticking straight out. Again he came and sat on his towel beside me and hugged me. It was the most vulnerable I've ever felt, and I felt safe! I expected to be shamed and almost wanted to shame myself, but he didn't! That was VERY powerful.

He just said things like: "I am not ashamed to accept you in whatever way you are (aroused or not).", "You are not shameful.", "You are worthy, and valued, amazing and special.", "One day you will have no shame or guilt."

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