Separation


A week ago my wife said she wanted to live separately from me because I had repeatedly broken boundaries, trust, and she felt hurt and betrayed. In her words:
     I have struggled with the way our values seem to be moving apart.  
    The following things are values I hold strongly but I have seen you seem to be moving away from:

    1. Honesty, openness and trust
    2. Inner self and character above exterior
    3. Love of others with a desire to serve and build up rather than use for own advantage.
I've felt sad and numb. 
I own that I've broken the boundaries, but am also making progress with why I've broken them.
Her 2nd point is basically, 'I've made my exterior, physical, muscular attributes more important than my character.'
Since mid-2019, I've worked on building up my physical appearance by working out and lifting weights. But I have also continued working at my inner self and character, but they are not visible.

Her 3rd point is basically, 'I've loved myself more than others.'
I've realised that I have been seeking attention from others, rather than genuine affirmation from God and myself, and not loving myself.
I've given away some attention-seeking clothes, which felt good to do.

She said that living in the studio(garage) wasn't far enough away. I'm not sure where I could live. Doug said I could stay with him in the medium term, but he has no bedroom for me, and I couldn't stay when he had his kids.

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