Trauma Responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, F**k
I've realised that I've lived most of my life in the FREEZE trauma response, which I've also described as a medium-high level of background anxiety.
I've just listened to this podcast episode "The Freeze Trauma Response"
When a traumatic event happens or perception of a traumatic event, our Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) triggers the FIGHT or FLIGHT reaction and this happens without thinking, it's automatic, it's the survival instinct, it all happen below the conscious mind! The Prefrontal Cortex (rational part of the brain) goes offline.
| This video explains the Freeze and Fawn (people pleasing) responses | However, if we realise that neither the Fight or Flight reactions are viable options, the body goes into the FREEZE response. The Stop! command is given, yet adrenaline is still pumping, which is exhausting. In the animal world, this is when say, a gazelle, can't fight or outrun a tiger, so the body freezes, goes limp, shuts down, and expects to be eaten. It feels like you've dissociated or left your body because endogenous opioids (painkillers) are released to numb the feeling of being eaten. The Fight nor Flight responses can be ruled out by children if the trauma comes from their primary caregiver, who they cannot fight nor run away from, so they go to the FREEZE response. in FREEZE, people may talk to you, ask questions, or to try to engage with you, but you're unable to respond because you're emotionally shut down and numb. Sexual assault survivors report feeling frozen during their assault because neither Fight nor Flight were options. They disassociate from their body, which is being abused. |
Also in the podcast, when conflict happens in a relationship, one of the women finds she cannot speak and becomes exhausted. Once in the Freeze state, unless a Fight or Flight option becomes available, the body searches for escape option. One of the women in the podcast used coffee ☕ and stimulates to escape the Freeze state. I've heard others say that sex addicts escape through F**k, or an orgasm, to temporarily lift their mood to feel released. In the Freeze state, with the Prefrontal cortex still offline, the body will find a way to get an orgasm, usually by looking at pornography. Perhaps a stress response to Freeze is the F**k response?! This is also a soothing.
The podcast also say that after being in the Freeze response, people keep asking, "Why didn't I ...?" This is because when the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) is on, the prefrontal cortex (rational brain) is off. When people do things that are irrational and against their values, they feel angry at themselves and Shame. Add this to the shame of looking at pornography, plus the shame of feeling defective as a man for having sexual attraction to other men, so the shame can be overwhelming. And the Freeze/Flop response and posture is similar to shame.
When someone is in the Freeze state, others can be perceive them as detaching from them, not paying them attention, and that can be triggering.
I've spent enough of my life in that exhausting state (due to my traumatic childhood neglect and abuse), and done too many things that are irrational and against my own values.
I exercise a lot to get me out of the Freeze state (instead of seeking an orgasm).
I don't want to use sex or lust to get me out of the Hypo-aroused state. So when I'm told not to exercise, I feel like I'm being told to go back and live in my exhausting frozen traumatic life!
So I pursue healing, which is slowly working, and can feel that some triggers are much less or non-existent.
From my counselling at the Rape Crisis Centre, I learned these regulation responses if I can realise I'm in the Freeze state.
From my counselling at the Rape Crisis Centre, I learned these regulation responses if I can realise I'm in the Freeze state.
My homework is to try to categorise the threat when I'm feeling triggered - is it past or future?
What is your reaction to my post? Helpful? Confusing? Does it help you understand me better?
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