3 Things Others Like+Dislike about me (Crucible Project pre-work)

As part of the pre-work for the Crucible Project, I've asked three people who are close to me and asked them 3 things that they like the most about you and 3 things they like the least (what would they like to change about you if they could?).  Here are their answers.  I need to write down my reactions to these.

3 things I like the most:

1. Diligence in serving other men, such as the men’s convention leader.
2. Active in seeking accountability.
3. Honesty
4. André values friendship and is keen to spend time together.
5. André very openly professes his faith and is keen to discuss it.
6. André is vulnerable, trusting and happy to share what’s on his mind.
7. André's loyalty
8. André's caring nature
9. André's will and commitment to improve himself.
10. André's playfulness, kindness and loyal friendship
11. André's pursuit of Christ in spite of significant life challenges 
12. André's willingness to do the work you need to do to heal and become a whole, mature man.

3 things I would change:

1. Same passion and drive for other endeavours towards his wife and kids
2. “Thicker skin” – not having to second guess how something might be taken.
3. Maybe a little more focus on asking how others are going.
4. I would like André to be more aware of his actions and their impacts on other people. Sometimes, I’m sure without malice, he will take actions or say things that upset people because he hasn’t considered their impact or the other person’s perspective.
5. The change I would like is for André to use a group chat when sharing anything regarding his personal struggles, so I don't feel the burden of seeing and responding in the moment when it's a message of distress or something beyond my capability to respond to.
6. I would love to change André’s internal struggle and daily turmoil so he can be at peace. I realise this is what he is working on and prayerfully waiting on God to relieve. But if there was one thing I would change it would be this, and I’m sure it would relieve many of the issues he faces.
7. His lack of self-worth
8. His colander-like affirmation bucket
9. Seeming inability to determine if 'healing' or 'feeling good' comes from a healthy situation or not.
10. I’d like you to become more diligent in holding your own and your wife’s boundaries. When I have confronted you regarding boundary violations, you have a tendency to either minimize, justify or dismiss them or resort to the opposite extreme of self-contempt as a way of dissociating from shame in not living according to your values. This makes it difficult to offer correction and help in engaging blind spots in your life.
11. I’d like you to spend as much time and effort repairing your marriage as you do in pursuing your own healing. 
12. I’d like you to invest more time and effort into daily focusing on your identity as a beloved son of the Father, your core value and your purpose in life along with cultivating a tribe of healthy male friends. I feel you spend too much time focusing on building your physique so you can feel on par or superior to other men as well as meeting your physical touch and affirmation needs met from other men without doing the hard work of affirming yourself on the basis of what God says about you and what you already know about how other men see you. This amounts to a continual outsourcing of your identity to others, which is a bucket that can never be filled because it requires every man you see as more masculine than you to admire and praise you.

My reactions to these responses to change:

1. I agree. I am already working on prioritising my family above myself, sacrificially.
2. I have been working at having "thicker skin" for a while now, but I think the real issue is not feeling secure enough in my own value.
3. I agree. I feel I've been living under a storm cloud of anxiety my whole life.
4. I agree. But I have no idea how to address this! Some have hinted this should be my highest priority, but as I have no idea how to move forward on this, and they have not given any direction. I feel powerless and stupid that I don't know how to take steps forward in being more empathetic. I feel I'm just learning to be self-aware of myself - and that is an effort, to try to be aware of how others may possibly react to be completely "pie in the sky" dreaming. I end up feeling stupid and shamed for not knowing how to do something that seems "obvious" to other people.
5. I think this is more about the man feeling responsible for rescuing me. I usually message a number of men and don't rely on just one man for this very reason. I had used a WhatsApp broadcast list, which appears to the recipient that I only sent the message to that man. The disadvantage with groups is that men can feel reluctant to post to a group when they just want to message me, which results in less responses. 
6. I'd love this too, but I think it may be my "thorn in the flesh" to keep my faith. If I didn't have ongoing same sex sexual attraction to men, I would not have stayed a believer in Jesus.
7. I agree. I'm working at not getting my value from others, but just from myself and God.
8. I am working at affirming myself, and filling holes by grieving.
9. I doubt blessings when things "feel good" and go right for me. It's like if things seem to be going my way, that is unusual and I don't deserve it, or something bad is going to happen.
10. I am working at holding appropriate boundaries.
11. I agree. Yet hard to do during separation with my wife.
12. I agree. Same as 7: I'm working at not getting my value from others, but just from myself and God.

Please comment below about things you like and/or would change, or your reactions to my reactions.