Strategies I know work

4x Joy-filled Memories:

  1. Aged 12, flying a glider with my Dad - possibly the only positive memory I have with him.
    Joy level now: 1/10. Original joy level: 6/10
  2. Aged 33, proposing to my wife outside the Opera House using postcards written by her family and closest friends.
    Joy level now: 4/10. Original joy level: 8/10
  3. Aged 45, my daughter asking me to how to ask the Holy Spirit into her heart.
    Joy level now: 10/10. Original joy level: 8/10
  4. Aged 50, receiving a surprise visit from a friend who'd flown 1,800 km to see me.
    Joy level now: 9/10. Original joy level: 9/10

4x Distressing Memories:

  1. Aged 12, flying a glider with my Dad - possibly the only positive memory I have with him.
    Distress level now: 3/10. Original distress level: 10/10
  2. Aged 8, sexual assault by a man.
    Distress level now: 2/10. Original distress level: 10/10
  3. Aged 16, Bullying by peers at school.
    Distress level now: 5/10. Original distress level: 10/10
  4. Aged 49, Having my hopes of living as a new man crushed by my wife.
    Distress level now: 8/10. Original distress level: 10/10


Things I've done to heal distressing memories 1-3:
  • Telling someone else what happened
  • Realised I am not the only person this has happened to
  • Counselling
  • Realised I wasn't at fault
  • Realised my reactions were normal
  • Recognised what happened as abuse and assault
  • Reprocessed with different emotions (JiM)
  • Imagined the distressing memory and reacting as my adult self, and comforting my younger self
  • Reframing the distressing memory with myself as the victor, not the victim (JiM)
  • Written a reflective journal
I have done all of those things for the first 3 distressing memories, but not the last. Guess what I'll be doing next?!

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