Inner Child work


Triggered

What to say/ask:

Response

"What are you feeling? What's your impulse? What emotions do you have?"
I feel alone, abandoned, confused, unnerved, insecure.
I wanted comfort, reassurance I'd done the right thing. I wanted to feel delighted in. Help to feel safe and secure, not alone.
You needed care and delight, but not in a sexual way..
What thoughts do you have? 
What "I am ...(something)" stories are you telling yourself?

How old do you feel? When did you first feel this way? (feeling is stored in the ANS)?		I first felt this way when I told my parents about the sexual assault. I was 8. All they said was, "What he did was wrong." No further explanation, no hug, no comfort.

"Is this the first time? Is there an earlier time?"
"How old were you?"
"What happened at that age when this first happened?"		No earlier time.  
Although I already knew not to tell my parents important personal things as they didn't really care, help, or offer comfort.
"That make sense.".

Where is he? Can you imagine entering that scene now, approach him now as your adult self, put your hand on him and comfort him? What does he need? Does he need to be held? What does he need to be told? 		He's in the upstairs bedroom of my grandparents house in Vancouver. He's sitting on the side of the bed. His parents have just left.
He needs a hug.
"You're not alone. You deserve to have your Dad delight in you. Because he didn't, that's why the attention of that man seemed good. You didn't ask for it or want it. Even though it felt good and your penis was hard, that's what happens when anyone touches it. God designed it that way. That man manipulated you for his selfish interest." 
Is there anything else?.
How can you help your younger self meet his needs?"I will show you delight. I will help you know your boundaries, like appropriate and inappropriate touch."
Does he need to cry?
Often I will cry with the man. The attunement brings healing.		.
Check in with the little boy. Ask him what he needs?.
..
..


My little boy felt Life. I felt alive. 

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