Mistakes Learners Make

On Monday night my 16yro was meant to start an online learner driver course. I went out shopping and asked her to prepare some vegetables and to do her course. When I came home she was still preparing the vegetables (as I think she’d just been watching YouTube). She helped unpack the groceries. When we were done I said, “Oh aren’t you meant to be in your course now?” She was 45 min late. She was teary as she tried getting on but they said she was too late and needed to rebook ($50). She could have finished the course on Wednesday and been driving with me this weekend. I said to her that she’s allowed to make mistakes, and that I make mistakes and had missed a work meeting on Monday!

We rebooked for this weekend. We thought it started at 10am. I woke her up at 0830 and went to the gym. At 10am she called and said it had started at 9am! 🤦🏻‍♂️ We have to rebook again, but due to our holiday to Queensland, she won’t be able to do it until late 22-23 July. 😢

I also had the time wrong for my other daughter’s badminton class this morning and got her there 15-min late. I apologised to her. I then had to make a 20-min return trip to Belconnen to pick up a microwave (even though I’d been in Belco for the gym).

I was telling myself I was hopeless and comforting myself by masturbating in the car for a bit. I realised what I was doing and stopped. I got the microwave and called my friend Scott. He reminded me that I was just repeating the comforting behaviour I did as a boy when I felt bad because my parents weren’t safe and were the ones making me feel like shit(instead of just my actions). Scott said to be kind to my younger self and ask him what he needs. I said He just needs a hug and that he’s okay and allowed to make mistakes, but they don’t make him inherently wrong. I had a good cry. 😢
Then I imagined Jesus coming and giving me a hug too. He said, “I got you. Yes you are allowed to make mistakes. I forgive you. It’s okay.” I cried a lot more. 😢