Disarming Shame and it's Paralyzing Power

In the Journey course this week, we read chapter 11 of Unwanted by Jay Stringer and were asked these questions:

1. What are the core accusations of shame in your story? What does it continue to try and convince you of?
   A: Shame tries to convince me that I am incomplete as a man, a freak, a deviant, queer, weird, unlovable, unwanted, unvalued, stupid, weak.
   
   
2. In what ways have you attempted to run from shame, and what has been the result?
   A: I tried to hide my masculinity, my nakedness, my penis.
   I tried to hide my masculinity, my nakedness, my penis.
   I tried to hide from people, avoid eye contact, avoid attractive men, avoid deep friendships, and avoid awkward conversations.
   
   
3. In what ways has faith/spirituality been used to further shame in your life? Do those sources/voices still exist, and are they adversely impacting your faith today? How might you begin to separate your faith and understanding of God from those messages?
   A: Sermons preached do not resonate with my struggles, so I must be some freak of nature, extreme deviant, some rare case of sin, so I am weird and completely different from other Christians in church.
   Sermons with applications of "Stop looking at pornography", "Getting sexual with a person other than your wife is bad" - but I knew I'd already done those things. The presumption is that "good Christians don't do these things", so I must be a bad Christian, or worse than others.
   God loves me knowing full well of my sexual actions, and He still loves me, welcomes me as a royal son, gives me a precious ring.
   
   
4. What are the lies about you and your story that shame keeps telling you? Write these out in detail. For each lie you’ve identified, where in your story do you suspect that lie to have originated?
   A: I am incomplete as a man.
   I am broken, damaged goods.
   I am weird, a freak, a deviant, queer.
   I am unlovable, unwanted, unvalued.
   I am stupid.
   I am weak.
   I am ugly, unattractive.
   
   
5. For each lie, what “truth” would you want it to be replaced with? What does the Father say about you that would ask you to grapple with each lie? Write out these messages for each lie you identified?
   A: I am incomplete as a man --> I am complete as a man, created by God.
   I am broken, damaged goods --> I .
   I am weird, a freak, a deviant, queer --> I am normal, my attractions are normal.
   I am unlovable, unwanted, unvalued --> I am loveable, wanted, desired, valued.
   I am stupid --> I am smart and intelligent.
   I am weak --> I am strong in character and physically strong.
   I am ugly, unattractive --> I am good looking, handsome, and attractive.
   
   
6. Who are the people or experiences in your life today that continue to reinforce these lies? Write these names/places/experiences next to each lie?
   A: Church sermons.
   
   
7. Confronting the power and sources of shame in your current story will require a new level of courage and resilience. What would it require for you to dismantle the power of these people/experiences that perpetuate lies and shame in your life? Who in your community (e.g. your ally, trusted friends who’ve journeyed with you) can provide the support you’ll need to do this? What will be your next steps? What lessons can you take from Tony and Kimberly’s examples of inviting others to help?
   A: