Forgiveness

 

I went to a talk on Forgiveness just now by Dan Anderson. He said forgiveness has two aspects:

1. An absolute insistence on the wrongness of the wrong.
   Forgiveness is not the same as excusing a wrongdoing, minimising a wrong, overlooking or forgetting, or just getting over it. Forgiveness refuses to say that a wrong doesn't matter.
   
   
2. The decision by the person wronged to not act toward the wrongdoer on the basis of the wrongdoing.
   Rather than reasoning from the wrongdoing to a set of actions toward the wrongdoer, instead the forgiver accepts reasons to excludes the wrongdoing from consideration and acts on the basis of these other reasons instead.

Two other curious things. 

1. Jesus "invented" forgiveness. It does not exist in any historical writings before Jesus resurrection! (People cannot forgive without having first tasted forgiveness from Jesus.)
   
   
2. Repentance (admitting the wrong) (where possible) is required for #2. (Luke 17: forgive your repentant brother 7x) I've definitely found it hard to say I was wrong because I felt like I was saying, " I am wrong" (not just that my actions were wrong). And when I did this, I felt suicidal that night! I'm sure this was because my Dad was a perfectionist and never apologised, it meant that I thought I was always wrong. So when I apologised, I felt like I was saying: “I’m sorry for being me.” (which is shame)