"I'm alone again"

I'm at a playground, but I'm not playing. I'm sitting by myself at the highest point waiting for my parents to come. They're late. Nearby is the man who groomed me, seduced me, sexually abused me, and robbed me of first experiencing sexual delight with my wife. On the playground is another boy who he also sexually assaulted in the same bed as me for the last few nights. I don't want anything to do with him or the boy. I want to be with my family. 

But my family were not safe, but they were safer than this pedophile and this boy.

Dad turns up. I stay seated at the top of the playground. He'd made me promise not to tell my parents. I feel conflicted inside, sick in my stomach. I'm trapped. I don't feel I have anyone I can turn to. I'm sad and confused. I clench my jaw. I'm exhausted. The man said that the sexual touching was, "Our special thing", but that was clearly a lie as he also had been touching the other boy. He was a liar. He had been using me. I'm clearly not special, desired, wanted. He doesn't care about me at all. I'm discarded, like a used tissue.

Dad and the man talk. They have a conversation and a few laughs. I hear the man say, "He's tired." Dad nods in understanding. I'm tired, angry, afraid, feeling trapped, feeling sick. I'm numb. Dad doesn't get me. I don't feel he cares. No one cares.

Dad lifts me down from the playground and we get in the car. Thankfully I'm with Dad now. 

But in reality I'm alone again.