My Strengths - as seen my others

For the Crucible Project weekend coming up, I had to ask friends, family, and colleagues abut my Strangths: "As part of the Crucible Project weekend I’m going on this weekend, could you help me identify my strengths as you have experienced them in our relationship.  My goal in this process is to understand my strengths better so that I can leverage them in my work and personal life.  Your support in this process is appreciated. My request is that you reply by Friday 6-Sep with your responses to the following questions: 1. What do you see as my key strengths? 2. Provide examples when you experienced these strengths in ways that were meaningful to you (that is, when you experienced some kind of positive impact). Thank you."

Here are their responses:

Strengths	Examples	My Interpretations
Adaption as your key strength.	An example of when I experienced this strength was when you said you were willing to let me either miss a few days of our family NZ trip, or to travel around Australia to attend a corporal’s course. This was meaningful for me and affected me in a positive way by showing me that you supported me.	I love to delight and support my daughter in something she’s passionate about. I can see the objectives and alternatives and adapt to constraints so a potentially win-lose situation can be changed to a win-win.
Maintain your boundaries, despite others, I see this as a strength because I know it’s not always easy.	An example would be: every time I hear you speak of your boundaries, even though mine are a bit different. I am amazed on your consistency to maintain these boundaries, you are awesome my friend stay awesome!!!	I know I’ve made mistakes in breaking boundaries in the past, and don’t want to repeat this mistake.
Making connections – You have an amazing strength at making connections, I find this such a great asset you have, it reminds me of myself as I love to make connections with detail also.	I noticed about you and your willingness to be there and make space for the guys who need to connect.	I felt disconnected most of my life and now I want to be connected, and to help other men to connect too.
Loyalty:	I’ve experienced this many times but the most stunning example is when I engaged in an affair with a young man you introduced me to when our friendship ended up reenacting parts of both of our stories, creating much heartache and some public scandal. At one of the lowest points of my life, when many were abandoning me, you stood by my side and defended me to your own harm. You were kind and caring even as I confronted my own failure and never wavered in your commitment to me. You proved to me in an embodied way that a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity. Eternity will reveal that you had a major impact on saving my life and in doing that, you saved thousands of men that I’ve been able to impact. We share in that glory for God’s honor.	Ultimately this was showing love to a brother when he was down.
Generous - You are one of the most generous men I have ever met. You think about others and show your care with thoughtful gifts and other ways of showing you affection.	One of the most memorable ways you’ve demonstrated this was when you got a bunch of guys together to celebrate my 60th birthday. I felt very loved and honored and it helped me see how many loved me at a very dark time in my life.	I felt unloved and uncherished for most of my life, and want to help others feel loved and cherished.
Godly - throughout our relationship, you have helped me experience what it must be like to be loved by Jesus.	Throughout our relationship, you have helped me experience what it must be like to be loved by Jesus. I don’t know that I’ve even felt as accepted and loved as I am by another man until you came into my life.
Tenderness	Regardless of where you’re at personally you always seem to be able to offer insight and comfort at times when I have been in a lonely and dark space.  Your tenderness is genuine and real and I greatly appreciate all you’ve offered me on this journey.	For most of my life I’ve felt uncomforted and alone, but I can help be a friend who comforts and loves to help mates not feel alone.
Acceptance/Non-judgemental attitude	Another strength is your ability to listen and to not be judgmental. This has allowed me and others to dump some shame and that has really moved me along on this ride.	I genuinely want to be accepted just as I am – shadows and all. I want to show this to other men too.
Vulnerability and willingness to be open and honest. He earnestly seeks to share how he's feeling, what he's feeling and to be understood.	I experienced this strength in a meaningful way when we were in a Bible study together he introduced me to the emotional dial, which he used and encouraged the rest of the men in our group to use to talk about how we've been feeling. I hadn't come across this before and have returned to it several times to connect with my own feelings.
A genuine heart for other people. You want to see the best in other people.	An example would be with your neighbours. You recently invited your friend to your Friday night group. That’s reaching out to others with their best interest in mind.
You can be good at achieving goals when you’re focused. When you’ve got the right motivation you can be very task focused in a positive way.	An example would be riding, working with others, or organising an event that would be positive.
The ability to listen to people and accept feedback and comments. Regardless who it’s from and if it’s is positive or negative you listen and take it on board.	Actions that come from this further identify who you are as a person, you have the emotional connection which you demonstrate annoyance or frustration of the comment is negative constructivism but accept and then work with people to get through it you are able to put the emotional connection aside and work with the feedback or action. I personally see this as a positive even though there is something negative attachment the outcome is a positive approach. It reminds me of me ☺️
Comfortable presence	You place yourself in a room or situation and enable or embrace silence or conversation I find this peaceful example is you simply eating your lunch in my office being comfortable to not have to have conversations.
Defend others, speaking up for others. Courage	Speak out whether it be positive negative on someone else’s behalf but the courage that comes with this is a strength! It takes courage to tell people how you honestly are feeling at any moment in time.
Commitment and determination to understand who you are, how you got here and where you want to be.	That commitment is evidenced by your sharing in [a support] group and the motivation in your trips to the US.

I recognise that my weaknesses are not listed here and some are evident, and I feel this is a little imbalanced, but I hear my weaknesses shouted at me from my Inner Critic everyday. So listing my Strengths is actually balancing this out. I thank God for the men and women who gave me the time to share what they see in me.