Outback Jack's Journey

I did not grow up going to church with my parents and my parents are not Christians. As a kid, I tried to be good and to everyone around (my parents and my teachers) I appeared to be very good, yet privately knowing I was bad.  I knew that I would only get in trouble for getting caught for doing wrong things.  If I was able to keep things hidden, then I could get away with doing things that I should not do.  This actually just made me confused. Now I thought Christians were brainwashed idiots.  My sister became a Christian and invited me along to a Youth Group.  There I thought I would watch the leaders brainwash the youth and then expose them.  Instead they studied from the bible and I was able to see from reading the bible for myself that they were not making it up.  At this point I really didn’t know if it was all real – I just hoped that God was real.  By calling myself a Christian I was really just hedging my bets.  I did not know the truth or understand why Jesus was so central t

In mid-September I went to Oklahoma to staff a The Crucible Project (TCP) weekend. It was my first time staffing.  It was a privilege and powerful for the men attending and awesome to see them process something that was blocking them with physically/bodily acted out Internal Family Systems (IFS). It helped them be vulnerable and then trust other men.  It was powerful for me even as a staff man, particularly because as we prepared as a staff team, I was told, "We see your 'shadows' and accept you as you are." then asked, "Do you commit to hold your shadows as you lead this weekend?"  This is in contrast with the Christianity that I find most other places, where our "shadows" (unacceptable or sinful thoughts/actions) are to be hidden behind a "nice" mask of "we've got it all together". I don't see that as real love, or real authentic Christianity. I love the “no BS” attitude. It’s authentic, honest, open, real, genuine. My

For the Crucible Project weekend coming up, I had to ask friends, family, and colleagues abut my Strangths: " As part of the Crucible Project weekend I’m going on this weekend, could you help me identify my strengths as you have experienced them in our relationship.  My goal in this process is to understand my strengths better so that I can leverage them in my work and personal life.  Your support in this process is appreciated. My request is that you reply by Friday 6-Sep with your responses to the following questions:  1. What do you see as my key strengths?  2. Provide examples when you experienced these strengths in ways that were meaningful to you (that is, when you experienced some kind of positive impact).  Thank you. " Here are their responses: Strengths Examples My Interpretations Adaption as your key strength. An example of when I experienced this strength was when you said you were willing to let me either miss a few days of our family NZ trip, or to travel a

After reading this story, please let me know what physical sensations happened in your body, not thoughts (eg not "I felt uncomfortable", but "I felt sick in my stomach"). "Mum, Am I Going to Die?" In primary school, my nose seemed to bleed at anything. If I was knocked, it would bleed. If I was hot, it would bleed. If I exercised, it would bleed. If I was stressed it would bleed. If I sneezed, it would bleed. I couldn't do sport or athletics or run. The propensity of my nose bleeding seriously held me back. My Mum worked at the hospital, and she knew people who knew the best specialists. I went to see an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist. Inside my nose he saw an ulcer that was right over a blood vessel. One of the first things he said was, “I don’t want to cauterise it because that might leave you with a hole between your two nostrils inside your nose and that might make you whistle when you breathe in.” So, he gave me a cream to apply, which we appl

My workout buddy has accused me of being an exhibitionist. I had said to him a few times that my counsellor had suggested that because I used to hide from my alcoholic and verbally abusive Dad in my bedroom and did my schoolwork, that I should consider trying to feel seen. I had asked my counsellor whether it is a real need or a perceived need. Do I just need to be emotionally vulnerable and exposed by sharing my story, or do I need to physically be vulnerable and expose myself? He said both. Why I am not an exhibitionist? My desire is not to feel seen. I'm not addicted to it. Yes I've exhibited my body in the past and received attention, which I enjoyed as a shadow of the love and connection that I was desiring and missed out of getting from my Dad. When I was on Instagram, I felt the pressure to post from seeing others' posts and the affirmation they received. But I could feel the "thirst trap" that it was, and got off. What's the reason I get naked with oth

The day after Christmas (aka Boxing Day) is one of the biggest porn use days worldwide.  When it's 27-Dec in Australia, it's still 26-Dec in the USA, so I used Scott’s Zoom account to run a Zoom meeting to help men feel connected and get non-sexual authentic connection with men, instead of turning to porn for soothing and false intimacy. I advertised it in: BrothersRoad.online, JiMbrothers.online, Straya Overcomers, and Scott promoted it in his groups. I connected with a few JiM Alumni, but 3 other men in particular: A Jewish man who was married for 20 years from the New Jersey area, but never told his wife or anyone about his same sex sexual attraction to men. He barely showed his face. He felt so much fear about sharing with his wife or Rabbi as he expected he’d get immediately divorced and ostracised from his synagogue. I contacted a Jewish JiM Alumni I knew and he was able to get on the Zoom call and talk with him before he had to leave. I ask the Jewish JiM Alumni and Rich